March 28th, 2017 - Oooooooooeeeeeee!
Dear Diary,
Boy, oh boy did I have fun today! My mom let me meet Patrick! After I finished my chemistry midterm, she said she wanted to reward me....so I asked to see Patrick! And she didn't say no! I also said she could give me the phone Isabelle wanted to use (but was locked) so that I could give it to him to try to unlock because he is a technology genius. Genius, I tell you!
So. After school, I waited for mom to bring me food...and I sat in the car while I waited for Patrick to get here. My original plan was to wait in the library...but...oh wells. I ate the buns and the delicious mango pudding tart....then I waited for him to come! Every SUV that passed by made me nervous....could that be him? Could THAT be him?! Ohmygosh, I think that's him! Hide!
But of course, neither of those were him. But then a car came....and it was him! Then my mom says, I forgot to give you the yogurt to eat! Here! Take it! Eat it now! And I did, because...mom's orders, and ignoring them would be suicide.
Meanwhile, I felt really bad when Patrick got out of his car and walked right past our car and walked up the steps of the main entrance. I was shoving yogurt into my mouth furiously now. My brother opened the door and yelled his name, he turned around...and decided he would text me. He came toward the car, and I wiped the foggy window so he could see me.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I haven't seen him in person in so long! Pictures just aren't enough. Seeing him standing right in front of me....in all his glory....wow. Just wow.
So...yes, I felt bad that he had to stand outside in the rain while I ate my yogurt and my mom explained the situation we were having with the phone. He nodded and said all the appropriate things. So proud of him! He handles himself so magnificently! I guess I was expecting more...awkwardness? After all...the last time they spoke, my mom was mad....and she rarely shows her anger at someone who isn't family.
Anyways...I ate my yogurt, went into the school to get my chemistry book and followed him to his car. He was about to open the door for me...and I thought I'd let him? But I thought that might be a bit awkward....so I brushed his hand away and told him I could do it. Now that I think of it...I should have let him open the door for me, I think. Oh, he's so sweet! But, if he was a true gentleman, he should have insisted! Now THAT would have been cool. Oh wells, nothing too worry about.
Then he started to drive back to his apartment. It was...a kinda quiet ride? I did feel some of the residue negativity from our last....disagreements....but it wasn't as bad as I thought. At least I didn't break into tears or anything. Yay me.
He poked me quite a few times in the car, sometimes I would just smile in response, other times I would look at him or say what?
When we finally got to his parking lot...took the elevator up and walked to his...place, he opened the door...and his house! Ta-da! A lot neater that I expected...bigger than I remembered, too....
I went to go call my mom because she wants updates on what I do. I called and told her that I was at his house. While I did...Patrick came up behind me and hugged me....! A long one, too! It was nice. If only my mom didn't make me promise that not to hug, kiss, or hold hands with him....it would have been a lot more enjoyable. Oh, all the things I wish I could do with him....but since...according to my mom, we're just friends....I don't want to go too far....I'm already lying enough as it is...and I feel incredibly bad about it.
He offered me fruit! Apples! Oranges! Pears! I've never seen so much fruit in my life! And I'm a family of 4/5!
I went to go wash my hands and pee. Or....I tried to pee....but I was worried he would unlock the door...or stand near the door and might be able to hear me pee. I'm frustrating insecure and unable to pee when I think people can hear.
Then he went to go play his violin...so beautiful! I wonder why he went to go play his violin....maybe to assure me that he wasn't trying to sneak in? Or that he wasn't right outside?
Oh! I forgot to mention! His room connects to a washroom...which connects to a living room. It was amusingly confusing. I walked in circles....it was cool! A washroom with two doors...! I wonder why! Maybe people frequently lock themselves in/out? I don't know!
Anyways....when I was done, I washed my hands, and went out. I watched him play! In real life! And not in a big theatre with a bunch of other people! He had this look on his face when he played though...the same one he always has when he sends me videos of his violin playing....I think it's a look of concentration? He looks kinda...serious....kinda angry...kinda annoyed...I can't quite describe it....
Next, we worked on chemistry and getting those quizzes done. Ugh. Module 1 went...not bad! I didn't review for any of them...but I had him to help me? I know....cheating.....but what can I say? I already suck at chemistry....just a little help? It's online anyway....students are bound to do a little cheating here and there. At least I understood it! And that's the point, right?
I liked how he ran his fingers through my hair (found a knot! Eek!) and rubbed my shoulder when I was having trouble thinking it through...because I DID do some thinking, okay?! He didn't just DO the quiz for me....
First module...100%! Second module....I realised I couldn't get 100% again because it wouldn't be believable. So I got two wrong....90% is great, too! Honestly, when it comes to chemistry, even a high B will delight me!
After the first module, we had a small break....I showed him that pet thing...and my phone calls....where I said the same "Hi" at the beginning of every one of them.
I wanted a small break after Module 2, but I didn't get it. Humph! It was too fast! Having to switch from one module to another so quickly! My mind had trouble keeping up and switching...gears....so quickly!
In module 3...I had a bit more trouble...maybe it was because we switched so quickly? I dunno. But then his mom texted him....told him she was coming back! Big uh-oh! She was supposed to come back tomorrow! But because of the rain....I guess she decided not to go! Gosh, that really ruined my mood. I went from talking and thinking out loud....to...being quiet and more reserved...it was hard to concentrate....our time seemed more limited. We got 90% on module 3, too.
Mom called and interrupted me for a bit, nothing major...just asking Patrick to help her word a message to my chemistry teacher. When we finished, he worked on the phone...realised he couldn't unlock it. That surprised me. I think the only way he found....he had to pay. So he just transferred the pictures onto my phone instead. While he did that, I sat on the couch behind him with my legs on either side of him and hugged him...put my head on his back, buried my face in his shirt. I wanted to remember the feeling of hugging him. I rarely get the chance. And I missed him dreadfully. I wanted to hold him and never let go. I wanted to memorize everything about him...his smell, especially....oh! How I adore his smell!
When that was done, he asked what I wanted to do...but I kept looking at the clock...when would his mom be back? What if she came back home....and saw me?! How awkward would that be?! Even though he assured me that we would be okay, and wouldn't be back home until 7 something anyway. So...we spent time deciding...and he reminded me that we had five minutes left. FIVE minutes?! What in the world?! That was not enough time at all! We didn't get to do any of the THINGS we wanted to do! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
And then he clarified that we had five minutes of whatever else I wanted to do before we got to the FUN stuff. That cheered me up a lot.
I did five IT band stretches on him. On his...right side, he said it tickled. I did it as hard as I could, trying to bring pain, but it only tickled him! Ugh! Then the left side...he said it hurt! Yes! Now THAT was the reaction I was looking for! Paaaaain! I told him to count with me.
We tried some acrobatics that I learned, too. Partner acro! It didn't go as well as I thought it would. I mean...I know he hasn't done it before, but I thought he was strong! Maybe it was because I just did the IT band stretch on him? I couldn't get....up? I'm not sure if that was my fault or his. I'm not usually the flier. I tried back support...but I nearly fell! Ugh.
After those failures...he asked what I wanted to do next. I mentioned watching a....video....a pornographic one. Ssshhhh!
I asked him to pretend I wasn't here, and watch what he would normally watch...but he...couldn't? Too awkward? He asked ME to pick one. I didn't. So he decided to just go to the home page and click on something. He was looking at one....I was looking at the one below it...looked like something I might have watched. He saw and clicked on that video. Thirty minutes long, but we skipped through it....we probably only watched a minute of it. She had a heart shaped butt plug! And at one point, he asked if I would suck his Mr. P right after it had been in my butt! I said I would prefer not to...but if he asked me to....I guess I would?
After that, he started to hint at wanting to do some actual FUN stuff....asked if I wanted him to go get a condom! If I wanted to do anal! Even though he said it would be painful! I declined....kinda.
There was also this part I said I felt like I wanted to lie on top of him...and I did. That was fun. He said I was light! Ha! And that he could barely feel me at all! Ha! I wonder how much he was exaggerating.
Next, we were both sitting, and he tried to kiss me....I was kinda hesitant at first....haven't done it in a while? Then I tried...ish? I wish I were braver though. And then! He started at hinting at wanting to use his...points....he wanted to lick me! Down there! I was adamant last time! I didn't want him to! He could eat a hair! I would taste bad! Ohmygosh, so many bad things could happen. But....I....actually let him do it....hesitantly, I took off my own shirt (I kinda wanted him to undress me? But...oh wells.)...and...he helped me shuffle out of my leggings. I forgot who took off my underwear. Then....very, very slowly...I opened my looks...but only a little!
He snuck his face in between my legs and told me to open wider....eek! I was so uncomfortable! This was really happening. I was really going to let him lick me! I was on the couch, he was kneeling on the ground and he....licked me.
It felt....interesting! It definitely wasn't a bad feeling. His tongue was wet. Slippery...it had a nice feeling to it! Then he tried rubbing my clitoris with his fingers for a bit...then he...studied me. He got real close to it...and rubbed his finger on different parts of my labia...he was poking his finger somewhere lower...and asked if it hurt (it did). He said he couldn't find my hymen, but if it hurt, then I probably did still have an intact hymen and it would hurt the first time. Great! I guess....
I mean...on one hand, I don't want pain! But on the other, it's a pain I want to experience...something I feel entitled to.
He licked me some more...then! The most embarrassing thing happened! He said he got a hair in his mouth! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hide!
But he seemed pretty cool about it! Oh, I love that guy so much! I asked him how I tasted because I've never tasted myself before. He said tangy. How does tangy taste? I'm not exactly sure....then he continued licking....and rubbing. As he rubbed, he looked at me...brought his face close to mine....and asked me how long it usually took!
Ha! Getting impatient already! Perhaps his hand was getting tired! I felt bad....I mean...I have trouble getting myself to finish sometimes...I can only imagine how hard it must be for him. He got kinda close once, but I didn't say anything. Then he told me he loved me.
*sigh*
I wanted to say it back....but I stopped myself. I didn't want him thinking that I was only saying it just because he said it....so........I kept quiet. I feel like he was waiting for me to say it...he was looking directly at me....I wanted to say it so badly...I was just about to....when he told me I had beautiful eyes. And then he moved his face away...
He continued to rub....I think he gave up after a while.
Then he suggested we try a different position. He suggested that I...lie on top of him, and suck his penis while he licks my....you know where! My first thought? WHOA, I'm actually doing this. THIS! I have to confess that I never, EVER saw myself in this position. I never thought of it as a possibility. I always thought I'd be single forever because no one would want to make the mistake of spending their entire life with me.
Aaaaanyways. I was definitely hesitant. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to continue licking me. I mean, he's already tried licking, and using his fingers to rub me there and pointed out that he wasn't getting much of a reaction from me (oops). I was perfectly content to suck him, but I didn't want to feel guilty? Is that the right word for it? Feeling guilty for not reacting the "right" way? I suppose if I were to watch...pornography, the girl would probably be moaning and trying to get closer....but I basically just LAY there. With...a slight smile on my face, maybe? So. Where was I? I was hesitant, yes, but after considering the situation I was in...how I was already undressed, and I wouldn't get a chance like this for a long time, I thought to myself...why not?
So. I had a leg on either side of him and awkwardly got into a position where I thought I could suck comfortably. Unfortunately, it wasn't the greatest position for him. He wanted me to move down a little more.
Here's where I complain about being too small...and short! If I had been a little taller, a little...longer, we wouldn't be having this problem! Ugh!
So...I shuffled down a little, which was better for him, I guess...but still not ideal? Then I started licking the tip of his...penis. Swirling my tongue around it, I don't think I've tried that before? I was kinda preparing myself, maybe? And then, when I thought I was ready, I wrapped my mouth around his penis and went down!
Um.
Well, that's when I started to bob my head up and down on his penis. And ohmygoodness, his moans are the best moans! So encouraging! Motivating! Means I'm doing something right! I remember smiling to myself. I felt proud of myself. Proud that I could make him reaction this way. It was such an exciting feeling! Exhilarating, almost!
I always tried to go further after every few bobs. That would usually get a louder moan. Hmm...do I remember what he said? I heard lots of breathy "yeah"s and heavy breathing...some, "ooh, yeah...that feels great", maybe a "don't stop..." and a "wow, what have you been practicing on?!".
I don't know! Something along those lines!
Sometime I would take a break and lick the tip for a while, I only gagged once this time! And it didn't even stop me from continuing! Yay me!
What else? Hmm...after a while, he stopped licking me. He apologised (aww, how cute), told me he was too tired and his neck was a little sore? So he stopped. And I was content to keep sucking. This was when he started to become especially vocal. Makes sense though.
Makes me wonder though...how vocal I'll be.....if at all....
Also...after sucking for a while, I was starting to get a little tired, but that made me even more determined to finish him. I put my hands on the floor on either side of me and used them to propel myself up and down. There was a point when I was going to come up for a break, but I think I might have felt him nudge me down and told me he was close. So...I continued, and bobbed my head faster? He finally came! Yaaay! I was about to come up when I thought he was finished...finishing...but he might have nudged me down again? I can't remember....so...I guess he wasn't done. I stayed down for a few more seconds and when I was sure he was done, I wrapped my lips tightly around him and lifted my head.
Swallowing is always hard. I don't mind swallowing, actually, but my body says differently? So far, every time I've swallowed, there was always a little aftereffect where it feels like my body says nope and it comes up again in the form of a gag! The feeling wasn't as strong this time! Yay! I hope I'm getting more used to this.
Actually, come to think of it, I don't think he ever asked if I was comfortable swallowing or not? Maybe he did, I can't remember...but I've always just swallowed because it was convenient. I feel like spitting it out would be rude?! Last time we did it in the car....spitting out would be weird! But another time, he finished just as I pulled away to gag and it spurted all over my hair! Fun!
ANYWAYS. I've just realised that a chunk of what I wrote is missing....ugh. Guess I'll have to start again.
So. There is something I kinda want to mention. If my memory serves me correctly, every time I've sucked, I've taken a break long enough that he had to stroke himself a bit so that he wouldn't become soft again. And...that makes me feel kinda inadequate? Ugh.
Also, I've wanted to try kissing the tip of his penis and trying other things, too. But I've always been too shy because he was watching me, either standing or lying, facing me. But this time, he was facing the other direction, so it was easier to be a little braver (licking). I didn't try anything else though.
So. When he finally came. I swallowed and got up...and turned around to face him. He brought me close to him and told me how proud of me he was....almost the same time I asked if he was proud of me. Ha!
POOP. I just realised that there's a really large chunk of stuff missing! UGH! Why, technology?!
Let's just wrap this up, okay?
When we were all done, we put our clothes back on and we had some time left so I showed him this song I was learning in Jr. Dance. Next to You, it was called. I quite liked it! Then I found some songs and told him to dance for me. It was nothing like the hip hop he did last time that I was so excited to see, just some shuffling around and bouncing. Kinda disappointed, but oh wells. Then he reminded me of the hoola dance I learned in December last year. I found the song and tried to teach it to him, but I forgot a lot of the choreo, so he just kinda awkwardly copied my movements.
Finally, it was time to go home. I called my mom and told her we were coming home like she told me to.
But before we left, he asked if there was anything else I wanted to do, because we wouldn't be able to do it later. I couldn't think of anything, but he did try that facebook sticker....the one where one bunny turns the other bunny around and kisses it. That was...cute. But he didn't really kiss me as...deeply?
The car ride home was so lovely! It was nothing like the quiet car ride TO his house. I talked way too much this time, I don't know how, but I got to telling him lots of stories. Some examples:
Yours,
A very contented Lizzy
Boy, oh boy did I have fun today! My mom let me meet Patrick! After I finished my chemistry midterm, she said she wanted to reward me....so I asked to see Patrick! And she didn't say no! I also said she could give me the phone Isabelle wanted to use (but was locked) so that I could give it to him to try to unlock because he is a technology genius. Genius, I tell you!
So. After school, I waited for mom to bring me food...and I sat in the car while I waited for Patrick to get here. My original plan was to wait in the library...but...oh wells. I ate the buns and the delicious mango pudding tart....then I waited for him to come! Every SUV that passed by made me nervous....could that be him? Could THAT be him?! Ohmygosh, I think that's him! Hide!
But of course, neither of those were him. But then a car came....and it was him! Then my mom says, I forgot to give you the yogurt to eat! Here! Take it! Eat it now! And I did, because...mom's orders, and ignoring them would be suicide.
Meanwhile, I felt really bad when Patrick got out of his car and walked right past our car and walked up the steps of the main entrance. I was shoving yogurt into my mouth furiously now. My brother opened the door and yelled his name, he turned around...and decided he would text me. He came toward the car, and I wiped the foggy window so he could see me.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I haven't seen him in person in so long! Pictures just aren't enough. Seeing him standing right in front of me....in all his glory....wow. Just wow.
So...yes, I felt bad that he had to stand outside in the rain while I ate my yogurt and my mom explained the situation we were having with the phone. He nodded and said all the appropriate things. So proud of him! He handles himself so magnificently! I guess I was expecting more...awkwardness? After all...the last time they spoke, my mom was mad....and she rarely shows her anger at someone who isn't family.
Anyways...I ate my yogurt, went into the school to get my chemistry book and followed him to his car. He was about to open the door for me...and I thought I'd let him? But I thought that might be a bit awkward....so I brushed his hand away and told him I could do it. Now that I think of it...I should have let him open the door for me, I think. Oh, he's so sweet! But, if he was a true gentleman, he should have insisted! Now THAT would have been cool. Oh wells, nothing too worry about.
Then he started to drive back to his apartment. It was...a kinda quiet ride? I did feel some of the residue negativity from our last....disagreements....but it wasn't as bad as I thought. At least I didn't break into tears or anything. Yay me.
He poked me quite a few times in the car, sometimes I would just smile in response, other times I would look at him or say what?
When we finally got to his parking lot...took the elevator up and walked to his...place, he opened the door...and his house! Ta-da! A lot neater that I expected...bigger than I remembered, too....
I went to go call my mom because she wants updates on what I do. I called and told her that I was at his house. While I did...Patrick came up behind me and hugged me....! A long one, too! It was nice. If only my mom didn't make me promise that not to hug, kiss, or hold hands with him....it would have been a lot more enjoyable. Oh, all the things I wish I could do with him....but since...according to my mom, we're just friends....I don't want to go too far....I'm already lying enough as it is...and I feel incredibly bad about it.
He offered me fruit! Apples! Oranges! Pears! I've never seen so much fruit in my life! And I'm a family of 4/5!
I went to go wash my hands and pee. Or....I tried to pee....but I was worried he would unlock the door...or stand near the door and might be able to hear me pee. I'm frustrating insecure and unable to pee when I think people can hear.
Then he went to go play his violin...so beautiful! I wonder why he went to go play his violin....maybe to assure me that he wasn't trying to sneak in? Or that he wasn't right outside?
Oh! I forgot to mention! His room connects to a washroom...which connects to a living room. It was amusingly confusing. I walked in circles....it was cool! A washroom with two doors...! I wonder why! Maybe people frequently lock themselves in/out? I don't know!
Anyways....when I was done, I washed my hands, and went out. I watched him play! In real life! And not in a big theatre with a bunch of other people! He had this look on his face when he played though...the same one he always has when he sends me videos of his violin playing....I think it's a look of concentration? He looks kinda...serious....kinda angry...kinda annoyed...I can't quite describe it....
Next, we worked on chemistry and getting those quizzes done. Ugh. Module 1 went...not bad! I didn't review for any of them...but I had him to help me? I know....cheating.....but what can I say? I already suck at chemistry....just a little help? It's online anyway....students are bound to do a little cheating here and there. At least I understood it! And that's the point, right?
I liked how he ran his fingers through my hair (found a knot! Eek!) and rubbed my shoulder when I was having trouble thinking it through...because I DID do some thinking, okay?! He didn't just DO the quiz for me....
First module...100%! Second module....I realised I couldn't get 100% again because it wouldn't be believable. So I got two wrong....90% is great, too! Honestly, when it comes to chemistry, even a high B will delight me!
After the first module, we had a small break....I showed him that pet thing...and my phone calls....where I said the same "Hi" at the beginning of every one of them.
I wanted a small break after Module 2, but I didn't get it. Humph! It was too fast! Having to switch from one module to another so quickly! My mind had trouble keeping up and switching...gears....so quickly!
In module 3...I had a bit more trouble...maybe it was because we switched so quickly? I dunno. But then his mom texted him....told him she was coming back! Big uh-oh! She was supposed to come back tomorrow! But because of the rain....I guess she decided not to go! Gosh, that really ruined my mood. I went from talking and thinking out loud....to...being quiet and more reserved...it was hard to concentrate....our time seemed more limited. We got 90% on module 3, too.
Mom called and interrupted me for a bit, nothing major...just asking Patrick to help her word a message to my chemistry teacher. When we finished, he worked on the phone...realised he couldn't unlock it. That surprised me. I think the only way he found....he had to pay. So he just transferred the pictures onto my phone instead. While he did that, I sat on the couch behind him with my legs on either side of him and hugged him...put my head on his back, buried my face in his shirt. I wanted to remember the feeling of hugging him. I rarely get the chance. And I missed him dreadfully. I wanted to hold him and never let go. I wanted to memorize everything about him...his smell, especially....oh! How I adore his smell!
When that was done, he asked what I wanted to do...but I kept looking at the clock...when would his mom be back? What if she came back home....and saw me?! How awkward would that be?! Even though he assured me that we would be okay, and wouldn't be back home until 7 something anyway. So...we spent time deciding...and he reminded me that we had five minutes left. FIVE minutes?! What in the world?! That was not enough time at all! We didn't get to do any of the THINGS we wanted to do! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
And then he clarified that we had five minutes of whatever else I wanted to do before we got to the FUN stuff. That cheered me up a lot.
I did five IT band stretches on him. On his...right side, he said it tickled. I did it as hard as I could, trying to bring pain, but it only tickled him! Ugh! Then the left side...he said it hurt! Yes! Now THAT was the reaction I was looking for! Paaaaain! I told him to count with me.
We tried some acrobatics that I learned, too. Partner acro! It didn't go as well as I thought it would. I mean...I know he hasn't done it before, but I thought he was strong! Maybe it was because I just did the IT band stretch on him? I couldn't get....up? I'm not sure if that was my fault or his. I'm not usually the flier. I tried back support...but I nearly fell! Ugh.
After those failures...he asked what I wanted to do next. I mentioned watching a....video....a pornographic one. Ssshhhh!
I asked him to pretend I wasn't here, and watch what he would normally watch...but he...couldn't? Too awkward? He asked ME to pick one. I didn't. So he decided to just go to the home page and click on something. He was looking at one....I was looking at the one below it...looked like something I might have watched. He saw and clicked on that video. Thirty minutes long, but we skipped through it....we probably only watched a minute of it. She had a heart shaped butt plug! And at one point, he asked if I would suck his Mr. P right after it had been in my butt! I said I would prefer not to...but if he asked me to....I guess I would?
After that, he started to hint at wanting to do some actual FUN stuff....asked if I wanted him to go get a condom! If I wanted to do anal! Even though he said it would be painful! I declined....kinda.
There was also this part I said I felt like I wanted to lie on top of him...and I did. That was fun. He said I was light! Ha! And that he could barely feel me at all! Ha! I wonder how much he was exaggerating.
Next, we were both sitting, and he tried to kiss me....I was kinda hesitant at first....haven't done it in a while? Then I tried...ish? I wish I were braver though. And then! He started at hinting at wanting to use his...points....he wanted to lick me! Down there! I was adamant last time! I didn't want him to! He could eat a hair! I would taste bad! Ohmygosh, so many bad things could happen. But....I....actually let him do it....hesitantly, I took off my own shirt (I kinda wanted him to undress me? But...oh wells.)...and...he helped me shuffle out of my leggings. I forgot who took off my underwear. Then....very, very slowly...I opened my looks...but only a little!
He snuck his face in between my legs and told me to open wider....eek! I was so uncomfortable! This was really happening. I was really going to let him lick me! I was on the couch, he was kneeling on the ground and he....licked me.
It felt....interesting! It definitely wasn't a bad feeling. His tongue was wet. Slippery...it had a nice feeling to it! Then he tried rubbing my clitoris with his fingers for a bit...then he...studied me. He got real close to it...and rubbed his finger on different parts of my labia...he was poking his finger somewhere lower...and asked if it hurt (it did). He said he couldn't find my hymen, but if it hurt, then I probably did still have an intact hymen and it would hurt the first time. Great! I guess....
I mean...on one hand, I don't want pain! But on the other, it's a pain I want to experience...something I feel entitled to.
He licked me some more...then! The most embarrassing thing happened! He said he got a hair in his mouth! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Hide!
But he seemed pretty cool about it! Oh, I love that guy so much! I asked him how I tasted because I've never tasted myself before. He said tangy. How does tangy taste? I'm not exactly sure....then he continued licking....and rubbing. As he rubbed, he looked at me...brought his face close to mine....and asked me how long it usually took!
Ha! Getting impatient already! Perhaps his hand was getting tired! I felt bad....I mean...I have trouble getting myself to finish sometimes...I can only imagine how hard it must be for him. He got kinda close once, but I didn't say anything. Then he told me he loved me.
*sigh*
I wanted to say it back....but I stopped myself. I didn't want him thinking that I was only saying it just because he said it....so........I kept quiet. I feel like he was waiting for me to say it...he was looking directly at me....I wanted to say it so badly...I was just about to....when he told me I had beautiful eyes. And then he moved his face away...
He continued to rub....I think he gave up after a while.
Then he suggested we try a different position. He suggested that I...lie on top of him, and suck his penis while he licks my....you know where! My first thought? WHOA, I'm actually doing this. THIS! I have to confess that I never, EVER saw myself in this position. I never thought of it as a possibility. I always thought I'd be single forever because no one would want to make the mistake of spending their entire life with me.
Aaaaanyways. I was definitely hesitant. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to continue licking me. I mean, he's already tried licking, and using his fingers to rub me there and pointed out that he wasn't getting much of a reaction from me (oops). I was perfectly content to suck him, but I didn't want to feel guilty? Is that the right word for it? Feeling guilty for not reacting the "right" way? I suppose if I were to watch...pornography, the girl would probably be moaning and trying to get closer....but I basically just LAY there. With...a slight smile on my face, maybe? So. Where was I? I was hesitant, yes, but after considering the situation I was in...how I was already undressed, and I wouldn't get a chance like this for a long time, I thought to myself...why not?
So. I had a leg on either side of him and awkwardly got into a position where I thought I could suck comfortably. Unfortunately, it wasn't the greatest position for him. He wanted me to move down a little more.
Here's where I complain about being too small...and short! If I had been a little taller, a little...longer, we wouldn't be having this problem! Ugh!
So...I shuffled down a little, which was better for him, I guess...but still not ideal? Then I started licking the tip of his...penis. Swirling my tongue around it, I don't think I've tried that before? I was kinda preparing myself, maybe? And then, when I thought I was ready, I wrapped my mouth around his penis and went down!
Um.
Well, that's when I started to bob my head up and down on his penis. And ohmygoodness, his moans are the best moans! So encouraging! Motivating! Means I'm doing something right! I remember smiling to myself. I felt proud of myself. Proud that I could make him reaction this way. It was such an exciting feeling! Exhilarating, almost!
I always tried to go further after every few bobs. That would usually get a louder moan. Hmm...do I remember what he said? I heard lots of breathy "yeah"s and heavy breathing...some, "ooh, yeah...that feels great", maybe a "don't stop..." and a "wow, what have you been practicing on?!".
I don't know! Something along those lines!
Sometime I would take a break and lick the tip for a while, I only gagged once this time! And it didn't even stop me from continuing! Yay me!
What else? Hmm...after a while, he stopped licking me. He apologised (aww, how cute), told me he was too tired and his neck was a little sore? So he stopped. And I was content to keep sucking. This was when he started to become especially vocal. Makes sense though.
Makes me wonder though...how vocal I'll be.....if at all....
Also...after sucking for a while, I was starting to get a little tired, but that made me even more determined to finish him. I put my hands on the floor on either side of me and used them to propel myself up and down. There was a point when I was going to come up for a break, but I think I might have felt him nudge me down and told me he was close. So...I continued, and bobbed my head faster? He finally came! Yaaay! I was about to come up when I thought he was finished...finishing...but he might have nudged me down again? I can't remember....so...I guess he wasn't done. I stayed down for a few more seconds and when I was sure he was done, I wrapped my lips tightly around him and lifted my head.
Swallowing is always hard. I don't mind swallowing, actually, but my body says differently? So far, every time I've swallowed, there was always a little aftereffect where it feels like my body says nope and it comes up again in the form of a gag! The feeling wasn't as strong this time! Yay! I hope I'm getting more used to this.
Actually, come to think of it, I don't think he ever asked if I was comfortable swallowing or not? Maybe he did, I can't remember...but I've always just swallowed because it was convenient. I feel like spitting it out would be rude?! Last time we did it in the car....spitting out would be weird! But another time, he finished just as I pulled away to gag and it spurted all over my hair! Fun!
ANYWAYS. I've just realised that a chunk of what I wrote is missing....ugh. Guess I'll have to start again.
So. There is something I kinda want to mention. If my memory serves me correctly, every time I've sucked, I've taken a break long enough that he had to stroke himself a bit so that he wouldn't become soft again. And...that makes me feel kinda inadequate? Ugh.
Also, I've wanted to try kissing the tip of his penis and trying other things, too. But I've always been too shy because he was watching me, either standing or lying, facing me. But this time, he was facing the other direction, so it was easier to be a little braver (licking). I didn't try anything else though.
So. When he finally came. I swallowed and got up...and turned around to face him. He brought me close to him and told me how proud of me he was....almost the same time I asked if he was proud of me. Ha!
POOP. I just realised that there's a really large chunk of stuff missing! UGH! Why, technology?!
Let's just wrap this up, okay?
When we were all done, we put our clothes back on and we had some time left so I showed him this song I was learning in Jr. Dance. Next to You, it was called. I quite liked it! Then I found some songs and told him to dance for me. It was nothing like the hip hop he did last time that I was so excited to see, just some shuffling around and bouncing. Kinda disappointed, but oh wells. Then he reminded me of the hoola dance I learned in December last year. I found the song and tried to teach it to him, but I forgot a lot of the choreo, so he just kinda awkwardly copied my movements.
Finally, it was time to go home. I called my mom and told her we were coming home like she told me to.
But before we left, he asked if there was anything else I wanted to do, because we wouldn't be able to do it later. I couldn't think of anything, but he did try that facebook sticker....the one where one bunny turns the other bunny around and kisses it. That was...cute. But he didn't really kiss me as...deeply?
The car ride home was so lovely! It was nothing like the quiet car ride TO his house. I talked way too much this time, I don't know how, but I got to telling him lots of stories. Some examples:
- mom and dad eating spaghetti and sisters barging in on them, dad throws up in bathtub because he's drunk-because we talked about what we would eat for dinner (pasta)
- teacher who relied on GPS too much
- grandpa in the hospital and the miracle of the lowering of his blood pressure.
For the first point, there was a time when I forgot why I was telling him that story, and we BOTH remembered why at the same time! We both said "oh!" It was awesome. He said we were so in sync with each other. And I agreed!
There was another point when I said dangit the same time he said darnit. That was so cool, too!
I laughed WAY too much. I really don't like my laugh though. I tried not to laugh too loud...it was hard.
Oh, his mom also called. Asked him to help her unpack from her "trip". She asked where he was, and he made up some lie about going to buy food at....(a place I can't remember right now! Safeway?) In my opinion, he took way too long to answer, and I could tell it was a lie...(if I didn't know better, that is).
Well, I finally got home, he walked me to the door, and commented on how I didn't bring my keys when I rang the doorbell. I felt like he judged me! I also hugged him one last time, hugged him tight and tried to remember his scent, his body, his warmth. I knew I wouldn't be feeling it again anytime soon. It was the one entitled hug we were actually allowed. I had to make it count!
He went back to his car and drove away. I waved at him, but I wasn't sure if he saw.
Yours,
A very contented Lizzy
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Thanks for the comment, PATRICK!