Luminous Twinklings

Dear Diary, Last night we talked until...late-ish?  I didn't expect him to still be up after my shower since he told me he was pretty tired. I wasn't tired, but I felt like I should go to sleep fairly soon. Things didn't go according to plan. Gosh, now that I think of it...I'm so vain....I really only want to sleep earlier so that my eye bags won't get any worse.

Dear Diary, The day of the interview was today...is today. Remember all that fuss about him going/not going to prom?  Well...today was the interview...to see if the principal liked him enough to allow him to go.  I knew he would have no problems with this...he's such a great speaker...person.  Everything went well. The vice-principal who was supposed to interview him was busy in a meeting, so the female vice-principal interviewed him instead.  I was kinda hoping for the other guy, I'm sure he would have been a lot more fun...maybe he would even threaten him a little.  Oh wells.

Dear Diary, Today is quite possibly the saddest day of my life.  The words I've been dreading to hear...have finally been said. Today started out like any other day. Except I was happy!  Happier than usual!  Especially happy when he finally got back from his hiking trip.  Happy, happy, happy. Fast forward a few hours later....and I end up finding out that his mom told him to pay the deposit for Waterloo.  Tonight. My heart sank.....so....so....low.

Dear Diary, Today, could have been a good day.  I had some challenges such as reciting poetry at the annual coffee house, and teachers to confront about my absence on Friday (I missed a math test I wasn't prepared for.  I also had a GT interview. All that turned out okay!  And Patrick did his exam today, and he seemed like he was happy with how it turned out!  We both celebrated together during the beginning of second block. Then everything else happened pretty uneventfully, which was great!  Then I got jealous of my sister when she decided that she would rather work on PARTNER acro tricks with a friend of mine for NEXT year's dance show instead of practicing the chinese dance I have with her for THIS year's show.  I'm hurt. After school, I complained to Patrick about my day. Suffice to say, it didn't go well*. * and I won't even mention how he mentioned something about feeling like he wasn't to enough for me.  And to that, I say HA!  N...

Dear Diary, Actually, wait....no.  Scratch that.  Should I address these "letters" to him instead? Let's try it. Dear Patrick, I had work experience today, so I thought it would be a good idea to try not checking Messenger again today.  Of course, you didn't know that, so if you try to message me....I'll have an excuse....

Dear Diary, .....it's been three days and I still haven't heard a single word from him. I couldn't sleep last night.  My heart ached so much.  I also had a stomachache, a strange kinda....also from his absence, maybe?  I kept thinking.....what if this really is the end? After all we've been through....this CAN'T be the end....right?

Dear Diary, OH, the misery! Today has been a horrible day! I don't know why I'm so emotional today.  I've been singing Just Say You Won't Let Go  for quite some time now.   I even got inspired to try playing some of it on the piano.  Joyce Leung's cover is so beautiful.  I've never really been sure of the words before, but now that I've seen them...ohmygoodness...it's so beautiful.  It brought tears to my eyes instantly.

Dear Diary, Well, to be honest, I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting. It just...doesn't seem real right now.....he said he wants a break....but....for how long?! We didn't talk at all today. But he'll be back tomorrow...he has to.

Dear Diary, UGH.  It's happened again. I said something he didn't like. Is it wrong for me to get mad or something?! And things were going so well....